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gambling_helpline
#81 Posted : Monday, 17 July 2017 4:28:20 p.m.(UTC)
gambling_helpline

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Kia ora Spike. It seems you are feeling triggered but you have remained strong and pokie free. Despite your feelings of frustration and anger. That is very commendable Spike. If you like, you can call the Gambling Helpline and talk about how you are feeling regarding debt management. Do you have any options available regarding payment for these upcoming expenses?
Mortal
#82 Posted : Wednesday, 19 July 2017 12:33:12 a.m.(UTC)
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Day 84 - exactly 12 weeks since I last gambled. No pokies for 12 weeks.

Feeling great today - I will do something small to celebrate this small milestone.

Thoughts still occasionally come into my mind - normally when I'm needed a bit of trivial fun or when I am bored.

Still resisting the urge though.

I don't want to go back to that anxiety.

My next major goal is to make it to 90 days, then 13 weeks.

Spike - I hope you are still going.
Speak soon.
spike
#83 Posted : Saturday, 22 July 2017 9:36:27 a.m.(UTC)
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50 days free of pokies!!!

More debts keep popping up. Had a bit of a meltdown yesterday. Ird wrote a letter to work wanting repayment for an overdue tax bill... rocked me pretty bad.

My gambling has created such a highly stressful life for me and my family. The stress has been affecting me soo badly and it doesn't take much to really knock me over.

I don't have any other options for paying the debs as I am fully tapped out with loans and credit cards and my family will no longer lend me any money.

I have plan in place and wil hopefully get these unde control by the end of the year. Just need to battle through until then.

Spike
Mortal
#84 Posted : Saturday, 22 July 2017 5:42:40 p.m.(UTC)
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Day 88 - and still Pokie free - 2 days to my next goal of 90 days.

SPIKE - hang in there mate. We are just clearing the debris from all the times we decided to gamble - once we get past this stage - we will be on the way up again.

This is how I see it:

The first stage is when you think about stopping.

The second stage is when you actually stop and find the strength and commitment to make it work.

The third stage is clearing the debris - almost like clearing the ground, tacking every debt that we have accumulated and even giving our brains a break from pressing buttons and a break from waking up and feeling like a piece of shit because of how much you spent the day before.

The fourth stage is building something new and working on creating a new life.


So you are well into the 3rd stage, so keep going. You are no longer at the painful start.




spike
#85 Posted : Monday, 24 July 2017 8:48:25 a.m.(UTC)
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Day 52.

Nasty surprise in the mail today: a debt collection letter on top of the issues I have been having with IRD this week.

I'm stressing out... feels like my life is unraveling...
A lot of dumb decisions are coming back to bite me all at once.

I mentioned in my last post I had a plan but it may be more wishful thinking than anything else... now I find myself in that same old desperate position. Reliant on good luck and things going my way (when they very rarely do)...

Trying to sell my house to a guy who I met last year. He was keen as then but couldn't get finance due to changes in the lending rules. I emailed him last week to say I was thinking about selling and wanted to check if he was interested. He said he was keen and would try get into the bank this early this week.

A bit of a long shot but I am so desperate for it to work out. A sale to him would go a long way to putting out my current fires and would free up more cash to tackle my other debts.

I also have a family member who is about to get a large sum of money and he is someone who would still lend money to me. Once again, there is a chance he could help me out with a significant loan to refinance some of my high interest debts and make it all so much more manageable... but it's not clear when he will get the money, whether he would lend to me or how much etc.

A whole bunch of buts ifs and maybes and that's my only option at the moment.

The last two years have been really shit. I have been finding everything hard and incredibly stressful. Gambling was an escape but that also made things much worse.

The stress from my gambling no touches on every other part of my life. It has put enormous stress on my relationship with some members of my family who I have borrowed money off. They won't lend to me anymore and I am actually ashamed to speak to some of them. This has just isolated me a lot... the stress hasninpacted on my friendships- I can't afford to visit mates or do anything fun as I am barely scrapping by.

It's affected my work. Some days I am so frazzled that I just can't handle anything else going wrong and I just shut down and look at Facebook all day browsing memes... just another time bomb waiting to explode in my face....

It has affected my weight. I have put on about 25 kilos over the past two years. And this has affected my rugby which was once a great release but low just another form of frustration for not being were I should be.

It has affected my relationship with my partner. This is the most significant. She is having health problems and needs my support but I can't get over my own problems to be any help. Our relationship Is in a fragile place and I am worried she'll leave. If she leaves she will take our daughter and move back to her family 3 hours away and I don't know if she would come back...and I wouldn't blame her if she didn't want to.

Everything going to shit and all I have is a couple of what ifs and maybes to get me through...

Fml.

Spike
Mortal
#86 Posted : Tuesday, 25 July 2017 11:04:31 p.m.(UTC)
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Day 91 - 13 weeks - exactly 3 months today.

Feeling strong and committed although I have to admit to a few times when the thought of going has crossed my mind. The last few months have been particularly stressful and normally I would shrink away in a pokie room to deal with stress, in reality just creating more stress by losing money, racking up debt and hating myself. I'm glad to have resisted all of that for 13 weeks now. 3 months exactly to the day since I last gambled.



Hey Spike!

Mate - you have to keep going and get through this time. This is just the final stretch of crap to get through before things get easier. So Keep going - but try and look after your health and keep focussed at work.

In my humble opinion this is your priority:
1. Health and exercise
2. Work - keeping focused on doing a great job at work - don't slack off.
3. Repaying all urgent debt (make contact with all debters - DO NOT bury your head in the sand and avoid it...they need to know that you are working to pay them off, otherwise they will get nasty.
4. Safeguarding your daughter by saving.
5. Try to repay everyone else you owe

3 and 4 and 5 may seem like a million miles away - so keep focused. You can do this - you HAVE to do this.

I have found that exercising has been an absolute help in growing my self esteem - so focus on your health (physical, mental and social). That has to be the first priority - getting back into shape and releasing all the good stuff (endorphines and the positive and powerful thoughts that come when exercising)

I've been paying off debt slowly - but it is slowly going down and dissappearing. So it does take time, but it does work.

I believe in you Spike! And I am here for you.

Keep well.

Mortal
#87 Posted : Wednesday, 2 August 2017 8:53:43 a.m.(UTC)
Mortal

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Day 98 - 14 WEEKS & STILL NO POKIES!


Almost made it to 100 days, but I have to be honest, this last week Pokies have came to mind a few times.

I am still going strong and my next goal is 100 days (Thursday!)

Like I said, I've had a few thoughts recently about having some play time, but this is probably related to some stressful times within my extended family with illnesses etc.

For today I am strong and will take one day at a time.

Hope to hear from anyone else out there.....

Spike - hows it going??
gambling_helpline
#88 Posted : Thursday, 3 August 2017 11:43:33 p.m.(UTC)
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Hi there is today day 100? We're keen to know how you're getting on!
kind regards
The Team at The Gambling Helpline
spike
#89 Posted : Friday, 4 August 2017 8:44:43 a.m.(UTC)
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Hey Mortal- Congrats on the achievement. Today should be 100 days!!!

I'm at 9 weeks- 63 days myself.

Gambling isn't really an issue at the moment and I'm barely getting by. I'm in crippling debt and have a lot of big issues going on in my life at the moment. I am so ridiculously stressed that I am barely sleeping.

If only I had been smarter 9 weeks ago I wouldn't be in such a mess. If instead of going to the pokies I used that money on my overdraft (which was only bout $80 overdrawn at that stage I wouldn't now have a $3200 bill with a collection agency chasing me for repayment.

I'm still holding out hope that a family member might give me a loan around the end of the month to help me refinance some of my high interest debt and the house is currently on the market as well.

I don't know if there's light at the end of the tunnel or if that's just the fuse of everything about to blow up in my face. Literally feels like it could go either way at the moment .

Spike
Mortal
#90 Posted : Tuesday, 8 August 2017 11:50:23 p.m.(UTC)
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Day 105 - 15 weeks and still no Pokies!

Hey Spike - sorry I've been out of touch for a few days - family visiting at the moment.

Keep going Spike - just keep trying to get your head above water. Throw everything you can to reducing your debt as much as possible. If you haven;t already, try talking to every company that you owe money too and let them know you want to pay - but need to work out payment amounts, so you don't get too many additional charges. They may be willing to work with you.

But mate - you are doing a brilliant job overall - so keep going and don't get overwhelmed by what is going on...it will resolve itself in time. Keep pushing through mate.

OK: My progress so far: I've hit the 100 milestone and I'm keeping going. I still get temptations, but doing my best to keep focused on work, health and family. Still have some debt to clear (approx $5k) but I'm working to clear that.

I'd love to hear from anyone else that is trying to stop or has actually committed to stopping.

Keep in touch Spike - and I will try and respond much sooner next time.


spike
#91 Posted : Wednesday, 9 August 2017 9:14:14 a.m.(UTC)
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day 68...

Hanging in there but only just.
Managed to get a loan from a family member to stop my overdrawn overdraft from going to collections.
there is a story in todays paper https://www.stuff.co.nz/...-young-taranaki-father.
Without being dramatic this could have easily been me- similar age, also from Taranaki, both young professionals with young families... both crippled by debt.
Its both tragic and terrifying... that idea that I could win back enough to get out trouble resonates strongly with me... I used to think the same.

Such flawed logic though. Those machines are programmed to take money and they are very effective at it.
There is such a small chance to win anything significant and most machines have caps on the amount of your win.
I ended up in situations where I spent $1000 trying to win $500??? or completely relying on a jackpot just to break even. That's insane!!! but it was also my life...

Hopefully I have managed to pull myself out before things got that bad. I'm still so desperate on a few things going me way to try and get out of this mess.
My chances of that significant family loan to consolidate my debts appears to be gone. Once the house sells (the sale proceeds have all been promised elsewhere, if there are any actual proceeds after mortgage, rates and commission) I might be in a better position to apply for a debt consolidation loan (but they will likely have insufficient security)...

Can't pay off my debts without consolidating and can't consolidate without reducing my debts first.

Even though I have stopped gambling, I am going to need to make some significant changes to my lifestyle.
Its really hard at the moment with my partner's situation as I really don't know what the future holds for us now as a result of her health issues.

I feel like I am barely hanging on but cannot do anything else at the moment while these other issues are trying to sort themselves out.

Feels like plenty of time bombs ticking away under me and I don't know if I am able to get my shit together before they all explode.



Mortal - no need to apologise and congrats once again on your excellent milestone.
Its really important that people cant read your positivity in contrast to my constant whinging!

Spike.
spike
#92 Posted : Wednesday, 9 August 2017 9:15:34 a.m.(UTC)
spike

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Day 68...

Hanging in there but only just.
Managed to get a loan from a family member to stop my overdrawn overdraft from going to collections.

There is a story in todays paper https://www.stuff.co.nz/...-young-taranaki-father.

Without being dramatic this could have easily been me- similar age, also from Taranaki, both young professionals with young families... both crippled by debt.
Its both tragic and terrifying... that idea that he/we/I could win back enough to get out trouble resonates strongly with me... I used to think the same.

Such flawed logic though. Those machines are programmed to take money and they are very effective at it.
There is such a small chance to win anything significant and most machines have caps on the amount of your win.
I ended up in situations where I spent $1000 trying to win $500??? or completely relying on a jackpot just to break even. That's insane!!! but it was also my life...

Hopefully I have managed to pull myself out before things got that bad. I'm still so desperate on a few things going me way to try and get out of this mess.
My chances of that significant family loan to consolidate my debts appears to be gone. Once the house sells (the sale proceeds have all been promised elsewhere, if there are any actual proceeds after mortgage, rates and commission) I might be in a better position to apply for a debt consolidation loan (but they will likely have insufficient security)...

Can't pay off my debts without consolidating and can't consolidate without reducing my debts first.

Even though I have stopped gambling, I am going to need to make some significant changes to my lifestyle.
Its really hard at the moment with my partner's situation as I really don't know what the future holds for us now as a result of her health issues.

I feel like I am barely hanging on but cannot do anything else at the moment while these other issues are trying to sort themselves out.

Feels like plenty of time bombs ticking away under me and I don't know if I am able to get my shit together before they all explode.



Mortal - no need to apologise and congrats once again on your excellent milestone.
Its really important that people can read your positivity in contrast to my constant whinging!

Spike.
Johnse115
#93 Posted : Friday, 18 August 2017 11:15:01 p.m.(UTC)
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G'day spike congratulations keep going
I have 6 months to go in paying my pokie bill back I got consolidated by fox Symes I've payed back 70 grand over this time as interest was frozen and I got to pay back 66 cents in the dollar.
I was going to lose my house so all is not lost no matter how bad you can get out of this trouble .
I've had to sacrifice a lot but will back to where I was and able to lead normal life as I still have my job and family keep going never give in to the greedy publicans with their pokies
All the best
spike
#94 Posted : Thursday, 31 August 2017 10:21:32 a.m.(UTC)
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Thanks Johnse.

Today must be day 90.

Hope you are still going strong Mortal.

My situation still hasn't really improved but if it is any consolation it would be worse if I was still playing the pokies. While it is frustrating to only be treading water, at least I'm not going backward for a change.

Today the casino kept coming up in conversation. Obviously with people unaware of my situation. It sounds appealing and you instantly get filled with that hope of all the possibilities but it's just lie. All part of the game to lure you in.

One of the conversations turned to a discussion about how this persons friend could easily blow hundreds of dollars a night in the casino- and would borrow money from friends to keep going and how he had a bit of a problem. I said nothing while the others kept talking down about this guy. I've done so much worse than that and they have no idea. I have lost over $4k at the casino (all on credit card) in one weekend in 2013 and I'm still paying interest on the debt. I hope the guy they are talking about found a way to get passed this and he's not in the same mess I am in now. I felt pretty shitty about the whole thing.

Spike
gambling_helpline
#95 Posted : Thursday, 31 August 2017 12:57:29 p.m.(UTC)
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Kia ora Spike.

90 days gamble free, that is really awesome! You are a legend Spike. Keep going you are doing very well. Despite the challenges you are facing. Remember you are welcome to call anytime for support.
spike
#96 Posted : Sunday, 10 September 2017 9:24:27 a.m.(UTC)
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100 days no pokies

Still broke, still overweight, still stressed af but would be far worse if I was still gambling on those stupid machines...

Just got to keep going.

Spike
gambling_helpline
#97 Posted : Sunday, 10 September 2017 4:09:52 p.m.(UTC)
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Kia ora Spike.

You are inspirational Spike. One hundred days pokie free, that is an incredible effort. Keep going mate!

Gambling Helpline Team.
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