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exjafa
#61 Posted : Tuesday, 19 January 2021 12:06:17 a.m.(UTC)
exjafa

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Well I can report a good last 10 days. No slip ups.
but I feel twitchy ... must be a fix time.
To play, I have to break the rules.
Naksta
#62 Posted : Tuesday, 19 January 2021 12:20:41 a.m.(UTC)
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Awesome! Me too, havent gambled in nearly 2 weeks. Been real busy tho so thats really why. I feel pretty good, not tempted yet. See how things go.
exjafa
#63 Posted : Friday, 22 January 2021 8:26:15 a.m.(UTC)
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Well done Naksta, you are pretty awesome.
I just can’t shake the feeling of always wanting to play.
I haven’t but I want to.
I went into a venue (for a meal). Heard the pokie music. Took a look. Nice aircon room. Only one person in there. I could so easily have played but I didn’t. I’m disappointed in myself for wanting to play. I thought I would have kicked that feeling to the curb by now.
Maybe by the time by self ban is over I’ll be good. Who knows.
Interested to see how you go Naksta.
Naksta
#64 Posted : Monday, 25 January 2021 3:39:35 a.m.(UTC)
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Hey exjafa! Congratulations on not playing at that venue. You did well, my friend.
I busy myself with family stuff & a whole lot of other tasks. But I still get the itch every day.
I haven't been yet. Its only cos I'm too busy. Also we had a funeral recently plus some birthdays and other events which took up most of my cash. So I'm literally too broke to play LOL.
I just started a new relationship and my partner said "Do you play pokies cos I do?" Hahahahaha oh man sometimes the universe can be really cruel lmao.
For me now, its about staying away as much as I can.
I haven't talked to my partner about quitting pokies yet but I will. As far as I can tell, he doesn't seem very addicted. He's never played since we've been together, exactly 2 weeks. Although I have seen those apps on his mobile but he hasn't played them at all, and we spend all day every day together.
You're doing so well exjafa, keep your head up & remember to be kind to yourself. Congratulations again.
exjafa
#65 Posted : Tuesday, 26 January 2021 8:26:19 a.m.(UTC)
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wow a new partner, how exciting. Hope it goes really well for you. I chuckled at your line "we spend all day every day together" I kinda remember that .. but I've been married over 30 years so its now more you do what you want and I'll do what I want. lol
I hope you tell him of your pokie struggle before he says Let's go and play.
I'm still screaming in my head, let me play but so far Ive resisted. On Sat I had money, time and opportunity ... and it felt like real pressure to play. I went and bought a panting so I didn't have so much money and then more stuff, finally a cafe coffee - the fix of coffee helped and I was able to finish my day in relative peace...
but I wonder how long its going to take before I dont feel like I need a fix.
Im starting to feel sorry to anyone reading this, I hope my slowness to stop doesnt deter anyone from trying.
Its been super good reading your comments Naksta You are very nice


Naksta
#66 Posted : Thursday, 28 January 2021 12:55:38 p.m.(UTC)
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I believe your slowness at stopping is familiar to us all. I wouldn't say "slow" cos you already stopped. What's slow is being free from tempting thoughts and suffering from guilt.
Take it from someone who quit smoking twice, and quit junkfood ... mostly lol. Those thoughts aren't leaving for a very long time! What matters is that you start to believe you can do this, even when you doubt yourself & fail sometimes.
Can I quit pokies? Hell yeah! Do I really want to? Hell no, I wanna be a professional slots player! Am I quitting anyway? Yes I am.
The more days I have pokie-free, the more I trust & believe in myself. And when I fail, I forgive myself because I know the road to freedom is never easy, there will always be bumps. But I'll still make it to the end, regardless. So just stay on the path & keep driving.
It won't happen overnight. But it will happen.
exjafa
#67 Posted : Saturday, 30 January 2021 5:17:37 a.m.(UTC)
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If I am honest with you Naksta, I wouldn't say I have stopped - only slowed. some days I am good, but some days I struggle. Since the ban has been inplace I have broken it twice to play. Only yesterday I checked my online account and wished that I hadn't banned myself from it for 6 months ... I still have about 2 months to go. Not the actions of someone who has given up.
My Pokie friend has tempted me to play ... and I resisted but the voice in my head is growing louder again.
Another friend asked, am I an addicted gambler or a problem gambler? She said an addicted gamber can never play without losing the plot .. and a problem gambler can play once in a while. So I said its just a problem gambler option (but is it really?)

Your words are positive and I take heart from them. I must congratulate myself more on each day that is pokie free and not feel bad that my brain will be wanting to play, as long as the fingrs dont, we are all good. Oct nov dec and jan is 4 months with 2 slips, I guess that is actually some success ... without trying it would have been more like 60 slips, or more lol

thank you Nakstar
Naksta
#68 Posted : Tuesday, 9 February 2021 10:02:15 p.m.(UTC)
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You're very welcome, Exjafa.

Wow, 2 slips in 4 months is amazing progress!! I still haven't played yet cos so much has happened this month and I been really busy. Do I still want to play? Hell yeah I do. I'm sure I'll find an excuse one of these days. But for now I'm doing well so I'm just gonna go with the flow and try my hardest not to place too much pressure on myself.

Don't be too hard on yourself. You're doing crazy great and I'm really proud of you.

exjafa
#69 Posted : Sunday, 14 February 2021 7:33:56 a.m.(UTC)
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Hi Naksta, So nice that you come on this forum and chat ... your words do help. I think you are so so right ... keeping busy is the key.

Maybe you have broken the monster and youre all good now I hope so
Naksta
#70 Posted : Monday, 22 February 2021 9:46:17 p.m.(UTC)
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Yes I find I'm not so twitchy anymore. The longer I focus on more important stuff, the less tempted I get.

For now, everything's going well. But this isn't the first time I've stopped & relapsed. So I'm not gonna kid myself into thinking that I've beaten it.

I'm just gonna focus on other things & stay away from temptation. See how it goes.
exjafa
#71 Posted : Monday, 1 March 2021 6:24:11 a.m.(UTC)
exjafa

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good on you Naksta, has your daughter noticed the difference? I bet she is proud of you for making the change.
I don't think I will ever exactly beat it ... but I'm hoping I wont ever get sucked back into the monster's arms again.
My ban ends soon so I'll soon know if I'm a total waste of space or if I can restrain myself without the ban.
fingers crossed

Naksta
#72 Posted : Monday, 1 March 2021 7:31:03 a.m.(UTC)
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Aw I'll be with you in spirit exjafa. I'm sending you all my good vibes, my friend.

I know how hard it is. But I also know how many times I've quit an addiction and then started up again. I know for myself, it always takes me a few tries.

That's why I keep saying to forgive yourself. Cos when I used to beat myself up all the time, I felt like I deserved to be a loser. But when I changed mindset & started celebrating the tiniest successes, that's when I felt stronger & made better choices. Simply being proud of myself for walking into a pub & not sitting on the pokies that day. Sitting with the discomfort & realising "hey its actually not that bad, I can do THIS." Stuff like that aye.

I will never beat it too. Its a matter of staying away from temptation & reminding my family so they know what to do.
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