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anonymous
#61 Posted : Thursday, 4 June 2009 11:15:00 a.m.(UTC)
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Lets not gamble till oct 31. day 1.
davodevo
#62 Posted : Thursday, 4 June 2009 11:15:00 a.m.(UTC)
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Hi all
The comments of the last few days have been from several different angles. People get thro crisis the way that best suits them. Some need a heavy hand, like tough love. Others need a helping hand.

Some stop gambling and cold turkey it and do nothing else to work on why they gambled in the first place and manage to stop and think they have done it. Only to lapse after a period of abstinance. The key to my length of gamblefree time has been identifying why I chose to spend hours in front of those damn pokies and listening to the experiences of others at GA meetings.

It is at these meetings that I have heard how some slip and slide for years and never stop but I have also heard how some have been able to keep away from their vice for 8+ years and have changed the way they deal with their day to day life.

I agree with Steve's last comment you have to find whatever works and stick to it It's not an easy task and takes some serious work. You need to change to focus from being serious about gambling to be serious about stopping.

If you can't do it alone and truely want to stop get some help.
the_great_one
#63 Posted : Thursday, 4 June 2009 11:15:00 a.m.(UTC)
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dear Glorp--thank you, and well done on your recovery to date, you and I share about the same time, and for me one day at a time and dealing with reality has been my biggest support along with the person looking back in the mirror.

I agree with the comments what ever works is best whether that be counting days, hours minutes, if it works then thats what counts, as the the GA programme says just for today.

There is some great sharing on this chat line forum and to me thats whats counts, reading how we all view things in a differant way to me that is is neat.

Keep up the good sharing and keep supporting each other as beat one can, and remember the most important person in recovery is the person looking back in the mirror.

Take Care

The Great One
hocko
#64 Posted : Thursday, 4 June 2009 11:15:00 a.m.(UTC)
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I'd like to add my opinion to the whole issue. Although everyone is entitled to their own opinion, I don't believe the purpose of this forum is to use it to abuse people. Grammaliz had every reason to be upset at Glorp's post - it upset me as well, as he has no right to speak for others in the manner that he did and upset Grammaliz even more. Everyone handles their problems in different ways and if their way works, then that's great for them. I, for one, care about helping my fellow gamblers on this site, as they have helped me to stay gamble free for 22 days. If I want to count days, then I will. Maybe it's time to start afresh, put Glorp's post behind us and treat our fellow posters with the respect they deserve. Take care
circadian
#65 Posted : Thursday, 4 June 2009 11:15:00 a.m.(UTC)
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Glorp might be abrasive at times, but in my opinion he posts here because he wants to share what he has. I did not read his post, but knowing him, I have some idea of the content. Sometimes he says things that are so right that they are like a punch on the nose. He has the ability to get under people's skins because he does not generally talk rubbish. Grammaliz, you are right to stand up for yourself, and this site is not only for the recovered gamblers, it is for the likes of us too, the stumbling ones who can just admit in shame from time to time that we fell, once again. The thing is, without this forum most of us would have nowhere to be 100% honest, so it is at least teaching us that again. The journey is an individual one. If it was as easy as changing your underwear, we would all be on our merry ways, spending money on garden furniture and worthy causes, but it isn't, it is hard and crappy and sometimes I feel like giving up, but this is the place I come to to say it, to get support and strength and then to carry on fighting.
stephen_katz
#66 Posted : Thursday, 4 June 2009 11:15:00 a.m.(UTC)
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Well, just one last comment on Glorp - whatever anyone thinks of him, Glorp is not the problem...our gambling is the problem and those who enable our gambling and take our money, are the problem. We need to stay away, far away, from gambling businesses because they are like the black plague in our lives. We need to focus on stopping gambling and staying in recovery.

Let's be honest, in my view anyone who would claim that Glorp miffed them off and that led to gambling doesn't yet fully understand this addiction and recovery...or isn't working recovery properly to succeed. Busting is usually all about continued excuses to keep the addiction going.

When I was a gambler, I used every excuse in the book to gamble...feeling bad...feeling good...didn't matter. If I was feeling bad then I should gamble - if I was feeling good, then I should gamble.

Now, no excuses are good enough in my view to gamble and I believe that's one key to a successful recovery. No matter what events or problems, bad or good, occur in my life today, gambling is not an option for me, recovery is my only option.

"You either leave or die." (Quoted in another post here in this thread)

GA gets it right when stating (paraphrase) that continued gambling for a compulsive gambler will lead to prison, insanity or death. So yes, one aspect of gambling for us is that you leave it or die, or go to prison, or suffer from insanity.

If anyone believes something such as saying to themselves, "Well, yes I'm an addicted, compulsive gambler but I'll never die over gambling, and I'll never go to prison over gambling, and sure I've lost lots of money pursuing a foolish money losing activity but I'll keep doing it because it helps me escape from or mask over my personal problems, and so what if I lose my children's college tuition money, and so what if I get evicted from my home I'll move in with somebody somewhere or just live in a homeless shelter, and so what if my car gets repossessed I can take a bus to where I want to go, and so what if I can't buy my grandchildren the presents that they wanted because I lost the money gambling, and so what if my spouse leaves me because of my gambling, and so what if gambling affects my job or business, and so what if I lose friends or family members over gambling...I'm going to continue gambling because I love gambling." - If anyone thinking that these thoughts aren't "insanity"...then I would suggest to rethink these thoughts again because these types of thoughts are insane type thoughts.

Yes, we may think we love gambling but it is an absolute promise that gambling will never, and I do mean never love us back. It's time to get a divorce from this thing called gambling, and kiss it goodbye, farewell and amen...and it wasn't nice knowing ya gambling...good riddance!

YFIR,

Steve
the_great_one
#67 Posted : Thursday, 4 June 2009 11:15:00 a.m.(UTC)
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Dear All--lets all move on now and keep up the good sharing via: this chat line forum.

There is some really good support being offerd to those in recovery like me and for those using for the first time.

Steve you will know these and to me they have given me a lot of support over the years
1--God Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, and the the wisdom to know the difference.
(Gambler Anoymous Booklet written way back in 1957)WOW.
2--I sought my soul, but could not see, I sought my God, but he eluded me, I sought my brother, and found all three.

Take care all
stephen_katz
#68 Posted : Thursday, 4 June 2009 11:15:00 a.m.(UTC)
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"Dear All--lets all move on now and keep up the good sharing via: this chat line forum.

There is some really good support being offerd to those in recovery like me and for those using for the first time.

Steve you will know these and to me they have given me a lot of support over the years
1--God Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, and the the wisdom to know the difference.
(Gambler Anoymous Booklet written way back in 1957)WOW.
2--I sought my soul, but could not see, I sought my God, but he eluded me, I sought my brother, and found all three.

Take care all"

Great stuff my friend. There's a lot of bad influences out there, some here know my "thoughts" about the gambling industry and their friends who prey and profit off us. But possibly the "worst" influence are our family members and friends who don't fully understand this addiction and sometimes say to us, "Oh come on to the casino with us today, come on, maybe you'll get lucky and win back all that money you lost."

There is only one person who can stop us from enjoying a successful recovery, and that is ourselves. Recovery isn't going to magically come to us, we must come to recovery. Seek it, find it, explore it, and work it, and it is a good probability if not can be a certainty that we will enjoy a successful recovery.

Frankly, my feeling is it can be done and even more importantly it must be done. This addiction is way too harmful and dangerous not to make a full commitment in our lives to doing something about this problem. So do whatever it takes, religious guidance, Gamblers Anonymous, psychiatric counseling and treatment centers, or whatever else can work for you.

Nothing wrong at all with doing a little bit or a lot of the various ways of recovery. I actually "custom tailored" a recovery program for me, taking some or a lot from what was just mentioned, which works very well for me and my personality and needs. Recovery has been great...much better than I initially thought it would be, by far.

I say to everyone seeking recovery - Don't let anyone stand in your way. And get as much help as you need - there's no such thing as getting too much help for this addiction.

So when it comes to recovery...Just Do it! :-)

YFIR,

Steve
andee
#69 Posted : Thursday, 4 June 2009 11:15:00 a.m.(UTC)
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Hi All.......I slipped too and how stupid and worried I now feel over the debt I have created for myself...I havent told anyone, I just feel sick everyday!! So Day 2 for me....YAY It's such a strange thing to be so positive and sure this time it will stop and then BANG right back to the beginning....F*** I hate this......I would just like to be a normal person with a normal life....but I am sooooo not normal!!! It's my own fault I still havent cut up my card...I know I should but I havent....I will today, then there is no way I can gamble......
the_great_one
#70 Posted : Thursday, 4 June 2009 11:15:00 a.m.(UTC)
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Dear Andee--well done for your honest share today. hey we can't change things that have gone but we can sure as hell make sure things don't get any worse form this point on.

Cut the card up now , thats a great brief intervention, which means your looking after you, and thats important.

Just for this one day people can change and when this days gone deal with the next the same way. just for today.

every week we get 168 hours and how we spend those hours is up to us 56 of these we should be asleep, that leaves 112, work a safe plan to spend each and every one of them safely and have a back up plan ready e.g. find those sissors and cut the card or a possible back plan mail the card to your self slow post, then if need be do it again and again.

just for today you can stay safe if you really want too , don't let the BEAST control you take the control back, own it.

keep sharing and I wish you well

cut or mail come Andee just do it, don't let DENIAL get in the way.

take care

The Great One
andee
#71 Posted : Thursday, 4 June 2009 11:15:00 a.m.(UTC)
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thanks great one...card cut up into a million little pieces....one small step...lol I have to laugh otherwise I will cry....I have a debt of $1200 to clear and to hide for that matter, it does not feel good....and I have my 40th coming up and the invites are out...and I have to pay for hiring the marquee etc...Oh my god I could of paid for it over and over with the money I have lost!! You know the funny thing is...I have always been a lucky person...all my life with one thing and another, I just pushed the luck to far and just expected to win!! God in my twentys I even dreamt the lotto numbers!!! In my case it is accepting the luck has gone....because for the longest time I have only lost!! But up and on with it now....cant cry over spilt milk as they say......I would also like to share that I only starting gambling when I was 32...I was bored one day so went to the pokies...and low and behold won the jackpot...and of course I thought this is great....and from that moment I was hooked......Oh to turn back time I would of done something else that day!!! It's is nice to come here and share and know we all understand...it feels good. Wishing everyone well...Andee xx
andee
#72 Posted : Thursday, 4 June 2009 11:15:00 a.m.(UTC)
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thanks great one...card cut up into a million little pieces....one small step...lol I have to laugh otherwise I will cry....I have a debt of $1200 to clear and to hide for that matter, it does not feel good....and I have my 40th coming up and the invites are out...and I have to pay for hiring the marquee etc...Oh my god I could of paid for it over and over with the money I have lost!! You know the funny thing is...I have always been a lucky person...all my life with one thing and another, I just pushed the luck to far and just expected to win!! God in my twentys I even dreamt the lotto numbers!!! In my case it is accepting the luck has gone....because for the longest time I have only lost!! But up and on with it now....cant cry over spilt milk as they say......I would also like to share that I only starting gambling when I was 32...I was bored one day so went to the pokies...and low and behold won the jackpot...and of course I thought this is great....and from that moment I was hooked......Oh to turn back time I would of done something else that day!!! It's is nice to come here and share and know we all understand...it feels good. Wishing everyone well...Andee xx
andee
#73 Posted : Thursday, 4 June 2009 11:15:00 a.m.(UTC)
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thanks great one...card cut up into a million little pieces....one small step...lol I have to laugh otherwise I will cry....I have a debt of $1200 to clear and to hide for that matter, it does not feel good....and I have my 40th coming up and the invites are out...and I have to pay for hiring the marquee etc...Oh my god I could of paid for it over and over with the money I have lost!!

You know the funny thing is...I have always been a lucky person...all my life with one thing and another, I just pushed the luck to far and just expected to win!! God in my twentys I even dreamt the lotto numbers!!! In my case it is accepting the luck has gone....because for the longest time I have only lost!! But up and on with it now....cant cry over spilt milk as they say......I would also like to share that I only starting gambling when I was 32...I was bored one day so went to the pokies...and low and behold won the jackpot...and of course I thought this is great....and from that moment I was hooked......Oh to turn back time I would of done something else that day!!! It's is nice to come here and share and know we all understand...it feels good. Wishing everyone well...Andee xx
andee
#74 Posted : Thursday, 4 June 2009 11:15:00 a.m.(UTC)
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Oops posted that 3 times....not sure how...Sorry
davodevo
#75 Posted : Thursday, 4 June 2009 11:15:00 a.m.(UTC)
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Hey Andee
Your post has prompted me to comment. After reading 'I have always been a lucky person' kept me gambling many more years than I should have.

Since taking the time to analyse why I threw so much money away I had told myself this exact same thing.
As a child I bought raffles at school fundraisers and seemed to win very frequently. I recall people making a fuss of me because I was sooooo lucky.

My dad bet on horses and when I started work I dabbled and found I was 'lucky' with this as well. As time went on the bets got bigger and I had fun and told my self that I was breaking even so why not continue.

Then the pokies came to NZ. First in bars and sports clubs. I would spend an hour or so when in these establishments and did alright.

Then I got a job in the CBD within minutes of the casino and found myself going in my lunch hour. I won many jackpots. No huge amounts but easily into the thousands. No one knew. It got to 3 to 5 hours every working day for a period of 3 years. The more frequent I gambled the more I lost. Then after the sneaking around hiding bank statements and spending bonuses all came to a head. I had to fess up. There was no money left. Debts needed to be paid. Kids needed to be fed.

That's my story to the day I stopped. The following years were very tough. You can read how I am staying stopped in some of my other posts.
andee
#76 Posted : Thursday, 4 June 2009 11:15:00 a.m.(UTC)
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Hey Davo...thanks for that....funny how we both felt lucky. I to have kids to feed and they are such great kids I love them with all my heart...I just pray they dont have any of my tendencies. It is a shame they let the pokies in to our beautiful country....as for Casino's I have never allowed myself in step into one...which has to be a good thing right?? I will never ever go to a casino....that is just a personal rule...I work in the CBD to and it's all to easy to go to the pokie bars...and another 5min walk I would be at the Casino and that would be the finish of me!!! I have confided in my partner and family of my problem and they are supportive, but this time I am going it alone as I have blown it too many times already and I hate the disappointment on the faces of those I love....I will get through this and have started today advertising the things I make to clear my debts and start a fresh! Thanks for sharing it really does help.... Andee
hocko
#77 Posted : Thursday, 4 June 2009 11:15:00 a.m.(UTC)
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Day 35 for me and I still feeling very positive.
grammaliz
#78 Posted : Thursday, 4 June 2009 11:15:00 a.m.(UTC)
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Good target date. I am at 26 days today. The biggest reason I have decided to quit this time was because something simply registered in my head that there wasn't much point in going if I am going to all my winnings back. Once I was at that point, it just seemed pointless to go gamble. It was that I was just to out of control.
hocko
#79 Posted : Thursday, 4 June 2009 11:15:00 a.m.(UTC)
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Funnily enough, it was the realisation that I also put all my winnings back into the pokies that made me stop as well. Day 13 for me, and Scorpio, 31 October sounds good to me as well.
anonymous
#80 Posted : Thursday, 4 June 2009 11:15:00 a.m.(UTC)
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day 2.
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