logo
Welcome Guest! To enable all features please Login or Register.

Notification

Icon
Error

issherealy
#1 Posted : Thursday, 4 June 2009 11:15:00 a.m.(UTC)
issherealy

Rank: Newbie

Groups: Registered
Joined: 3/06/2009(UTC)
Posts: 2

Ive just takin control of my accounts from my wife. I think she is a gambler, The bills get outof control over and over again, My bank statements have been going missing for the last three years constantly, when ever i approch the subject she gets defensive and upset, to the point that i feel its my fault. Help am i wright waht should i do???
ostrich
#2 Posted : Thursday, 4 June 2009 11:15:00 a.m.(UTC)
ostrich

Rank: Advanced Member

Groups: Registered
Joined: 3/06/2009(UTC)
Posts: 140

Hi
Yes you probably are right. You need to be very patient with your wife as it sounds like she hasn't admitted to herself there is a problem yet.
It is very typcal of her to try to make you feel bad and put the blame on you that is her defence mechanism cutting in.
My name is Ostrich as I had to pull my head out of the sand to some very awful realities and now you must do the same. You are probably as much in denial as she is. I know I was.
Get the banks statements, get her to open up. It is going to be ugly but unless it is out in the open there is no way either of you can start to recover. If it had been 3 years then it is not going to go away by itself, only get worse.
My thoughts are with you.
issherealy
#3 Posted : Thursday, 4 June 2009 11:15:00 a.m.(UTC)
issherealy

Rank: Newbie

Groups: Registered
Joined: 3/06/2009(UTC)
Posts: 2

Yes i am right. She has admited it to me, She says she has been getting help for the past three months, But how do i know this is true?
We have talked at lot the other night, alot of the conversation seemed to turn to problems i have or things i havent done right. I find it hard to know what im ment to do.
ostrich
#4 Posted : Thursday, 4 June 2009 11:15:00 a.m.(UTC)
ostrich

Rank: Advanced Member

Groups: Registered
Joined: 3/06/2009(UTC)
Posts: 140

Ask to go to the counselling with her. Tell her you want to help.
She doesn't understand it either so is trying to find someone or something to blame and you are nearest.
You can help yourself and her by going to the counsellor as well.
must_stop
#5 Posted : Thursday, 4 June 2009 11:15:00 a.m.(UTC)
must_stop

Rank: Newbie

Groups: Registered
Joined: 3/06/2009(UTC)
Posts: 6

HI Issherealy How are you and your wife going? i was the same i use to burn my statements so my husband wouldnt see them.I was complaining all the time, shopping too expensive and that he wasnt earning enough money to get by on.He even went for fuel one day and there wasnt enough money to pay,he was so angry i lied and told him there were funds,must be his card so i quickly took money from another account to put in there.I knew i had a problem and had to stop.Support and counselling are the best tools.Hope things are looking better.
Users browsing this topic
Forum Jump  
You cannot post new topics in this forum.
You cannot reply to topics in this forum.
You cannot delete your posts in this forum.
You cannot edit your posts in this forum.
You cannot create polls in this forum.
You cannot vote in polls in this forum.

Powered by YAF 1.9.6 RC1 | YAF © 2003-2019, Yet Another Forum.NET
This page was generated in 0.089 seconds.