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kath
#1 Posted : Thursday, 4 June 2009 11:15:00 a.m.(UTC)
kath

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Hi Kathy,

We not only have the same name but a similar situation. I had reached that crossroad for a second time and choose to tell my husband, again. One thing I did notice about your post was that you mentioned you are in a position were there is'nt a lie to cover your tracks (and I too have been there) but one thing I noticed was absent was that fact you did'nt say whether you actually wanted to stop this for yourself. You see there's a really big difference, there's always a way too cover it up. But you have to decide whether this time you want too. And whether you decide to make this, the first step in finally beating this beast.
I wish you well and please keep posting.
anonymous
#2 Posted : Thursday, 4 June 2009 11:15:00 a.m.(UTC)
anonymous

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thankyou, Ostrich,neither would be a good idea he is not the type to just get mad and swear at you or something.I have decided not to tell him and i pray he does'nt find out.He has since given me more money and i make sure when i leave the house i only have $10.00 on me and so far so good.Kath, thanks for the question and i most certainly do want this mad roller coaster ride to stop.I'm still trying to find the exit sign out of this crazy behavior.Talking to all of you is helping .I was able to get through the day filling up my time with doing some much needed house work.Today i will walk my neglected dog and pamper myself and give myself a much needed make over,which should take up until the time to get my kids from school.I will take it i minute at a time.Pray for me.
missy
#3 Posted : Thursday, 4 June 2009 11:15:00 a.m.(UTC)
missy

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Hi Kathy, I'm new here also and am taking my days one minute at a time. I'm focusing on that terrible feeling when I knew that one more time I had gone in and gambled away money that I didn't want to lose. It was a terrible feeling deep in my soul and the pit of my stomach. I definitely want off of that road of destruction! I'm also going to Gamblers Anonymous. My prayers are with you, please keep posting.
anonymous
#4 Posted : Thursday, 4 June 2009 11:15:00 a.m.(UTC)
anonymous

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Hi,Missy Today has been hard,i have money and time.I did my makeover and i look beautiful and nowhere to go.I WILL GET THROUGH THIS.I think i figured out half the reason why i go to the local casino(I'M BORED).I think if i concentrate on the other things in my life that are not right maybe i can find a reason why i choose to keep sending myself through much unneeded drama,for this minute i'm focasing on the real issues in my life.I think that thay are a little bit deeper than gambling.You keep praying for me Missy and i'll pray for you.
missy
#5 Posted : Thursday, 4 June 2009 11:15:00 a.m.(UTC)
missy

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Hi Kathy, I'm praying for both of us today. Like you I have time and money and the thought of going to a casino has always been attractive BUT remembering what it feels like when the money is gone and I'm walking to my car is what reminds me of why I don't want to go again- just for today. I'm also looking into myself to find the reason that I would continue to cause myself this kind of grief. Your post helps, just knowing that there is someone else out there like me that I can communicate with is a bonus in my life! My prayers are with you Kathy, we can get through this minute by minute.....Missy
anonymous
#6 Posted : Thursday, 4 June 2009 11:15:00 a.m.(UTC)
anonymous

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Hi Missy, I made it through yesterday and today my husband asked me to see all the money that we have.I freaked out and started to tell him about where the rest of the money went instead i gave him what was left.We are approx $1200.00 short of what i should have had,i gave him the envelope and ran out of the door before he started counting.I think i had a panic attack.I told him i was going to tim hortons right quik and i would be right back.I sat there in the parking lot waiting for him to call to ask where is the rest of the money,well 10 minutes later he called to ask what was i doing and how long would i be gone and did i want to go out tonight(huh)i was shocked.I said sure honey i'll be waiting.He went to work and i was so relieved that he did'nt ask about the money.Bad thing about is now the only thing on my mind now is going to gamble since i got out of that one(WHAT IN THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME)?
missy
#7 Posted : Thursday, 4 June 2009 11:15:00 a.m.(UTC)
missy

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Hi Kathy, I made it thru the weekend also without gambling and am very glad the weekend is over! I'm finding that by not gambling I don't have secrets from anyone regarding money and that is a big relief. I'm use to going to the casino at least once on the weekend and am struggling thru finding new things to do with my time but when I remember how bad I felt the last time I left the casino I'm glad I don't have to feel that way again. I know you can stay "gambling free" just hang on one moment at a time and when you really want to gamble remind yourself of the bad feelings it has caused in the past. Does your husband gamble? Mine does but has said that he's not playing slot machines anymore (we'll see!)
ruth
#8 Posted : Thursday, 4 June 2009 11:15:00 a.m.(UTC)
ruth

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Hi missy kmk kath ostrich--I have just had a pretty good/bad weekend.Wont go into details just now .But your storys all sound too familiar. While reading I am sitting here thinkg that a type of rehab place would be a good idea. Somewhere where we could all go and have some sort of councilling but where there is NO access to pokie machines. It would also have to have facilities where by we were all kept occupied in some way,plus a type of health spa so we could be pampered after a days work. Im not sure what happpens at a drug rehab but there needs to be something for problem gamblers and of course it would have to be long term as we know this problem does not go away over night. Or is there something out there?
I do know that it is such a good feeling when you know you have not gambled and the money is still in the bank--its keeping it there that is the hard bit.
Our weekend involved felling a huge tree which feel the wrong way! then went to visit a freind who has 3 men "boarding' with her who are all loosers, was glad to get away from them, then hubbie and son went fishing in rough weather( silly boys), they came home with broken finger,hyperthermia,and no fish.
Catch you all later
anonymous
#9 Posted : Thursday, 4 June 2009 11:15:00 a.m.(UTC)
anonymous

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Hi guys,where's everybody?I sure hope everybody is being good,i am.NO GAMBLING IN 8 DAYS AND FEELING GOOD ABOUT IT.I'm drunk today but i still got money.Sure hope i'm not exchanging addictions.(ha ha ha).
missy
#10 Posted : Thursday, 4 June 2009 11:15:00 a.m.(UTC)
missy

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Congratulations on the 8 days Kathy! I'm still gamble free also and am staying focused on the bad feelings I had the last time I gambled because it seems to be working for me. Survivor if you're out there I'm praying that all is well with you and your husband. Ostrich, kath, Ruth,tegraboy and all others that have been posting please know how much I appreciate you! I re-read old posts and check a couple of times a day for new ones. You are all my help and inspiration and I hope that I give back as much as I'm getting from all of you at some time. Missy
mumwife
#11 Posted : Thursday, 4 June 2009 11:15:00 a.m.(UTC)
mumwife

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Hi everyone this is my first time ever doing this and I'm very nervous even though I cant see you all. Well Ive just came clean with my husband and it wasn't very pleasant seeing him hurt by my own stupid gambling problems and I'm only young, I'm feeling really sad and down about this cause I'm hurting myself but mostly I'm hurting the ones around me and i don't know what to do. I need help and I need it bad before I loose everything. :-(
the_great_one
#12 Posted : Thursday, 4 June 2009 11:15:00 a.m.(UTC)
the_great_one

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Dear Mumwife--well done for sharing with us today, you have taken the first step towards changeing your current behaviour re: gambling. It takes courage to reach out and ask for support/help and also to come clean with loved ones, so good on you.

I am going to suggest to you if your in NZ to call the 0800 654 655 Gambling Helpline to get more on going support and to find out whats out there to help you. You have taken the first step, the key now is to make sure things don't get any worse, so just for this one day have a plan to keep you safe.

keep sharing and well done.

The Great One
mumwife
#13 Posted : Thursday, 4 June 2009 11:15:00 a.m.(UTC)
mumwife

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Dear The_great_one--thank you for your support, my husband isnt mad at me in away where he will hurt over it but he did say that I now have to do things to get his respect and trust back, I have know idea how to that?

Mumwife
the_great_one
#14 Posted : Thursday, 4 June 2009 11:15:00 a.m.(UTC)
the_great_one

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Dear Mumwife--well done for sharing again. It is understandble for you to ask how do I get respect and trust back, no easy answer here. What I will say is the best way is to change your behaviour on a day, by day basis, this means just for today I will not gamble, and if you do this then the things your asking will just happen.

It takes time and the best thing is to just get on with your recovery for you, the person you have to trust most is yourself, look in the mirror and you need to like and trust the person looking back, thats where its starts, this person must be your best friend.

Another important thing is not to try too hard--You will want his trust and respect back ASAP, this will take time, no one knows how long, as I said it just happens (trust yourself).

You are on the road to doing this by sharing you thoughts and feeling, I suggest you keep doing that for a wee while going forward.

Gambling is a beast, you need to take control of the beast, from today, remember just for today you can make the changes your looking, just do it for you, then all those around you will benifit. (TRUST YOURSELF.

Take care and I will keep an eye on your progress.

The Great One
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