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anonymous
#1 Posted : Friday, 26 September 2008 12:00:00 a.m.(UTC)
anonymous

Rank: Advanced Member

Groups: Registered
Joined: 1/08/2012(UTC)
Posts: 1,640

I have just discovered that my husband has a serious gambling problem. He has kept this very well hidden. He has gradually excluded me from having anything to do with our finances over the past 2 years and I have trusted him with them. As yet he is not aware that I know.
I called the helpline last night and the lady said that even when I do confront him he may not accept it. How can this be when all of his transactions at the casinos are there in the statements that I got from the bank yesterday? There is also evidence of other accounts that I had no idea about.
I have checked my marriage certificate for an expiry date but couldn't find one!! So have decided to try to help him instead. What is the best way to confront him? What can I expect? He has NOT been physically abusive to wards me in the past.
He has seemed very depressed lately and I am worried that he might do something to harm himself.
Do I tell his family? I think that he has been borrowing money from them. Do I tell my family or would it be better for his recovery if we kept it private?
sandy
#2 Posted : Friday, 26 September 2008 12:00:00 a.m.(UTC)
sandy

Rank: Advanced Member

Groups: Registered
Joined: 3/06/2009(UTC)
Posts: 621

Hi Shaw I am sorry I am a gambler so not sure if you want me to make any comments as I know you must be devastated.All I can say is for me personally once my husband knew about my gambling I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders as I had been hiding,lying,borrowing money,forging his signature you name it.I encouraged him to come to a counsellor or call the help-line to help him understand the addiction but for me Shaw it was too late he wasn't willing to forgive me or trust me again.So I paid the ultimate price.I guess it comes down to whats right for you!As you are the one that has been hurt.There is no right or wrong way of either owning up or getting caught only your heart knows how you feel about your husband and you would know better than anyone how he will react.There is help out there in many forms for gamblers but not so much for the casualties of our addiction so think of yourself first and maybe talk it over with someone you are close to and can trust before you decide how to gring it up.Don't know that I've been much help and hopefully someone in the same situation as you "on the other side of me" so to speak will answer your questions.
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