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taysh
#81 Posted : Wednesday, 23 July 2008 12:00:00 a.m.(UTC)
taysh

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Well done Sandy. Sorry I wasn't on line when you needed it but obviously others stepped up and supported you. This forum is great for that. You did it. You put things in place and managed to not spend you money despite having it all today. You should feel very proud.

Me I'm doing OK. Day 3.
sandy
#82 Posted : Wednesday, 23 July 2008 12:00:00 a.m.(UTC)
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Today is a big day for me.My urges are through the roof.I have to go to the Dr's which is just across the road from my favourite haunt and I have just been paid.I am already trying to justify going as opposed to justifying why not to go!Everyone else you are all doing really well.
sandy
#83 Posted : Wednesday, 23 July 2008 12:00:00 a.m.(UTC)
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Thankyou to you all for your support.I am home now and kept everything you said in my head when I left the Dr.I think feeling as bad as I do at the moment and still not having forgiven myself for my last blowout I don't think I could have handled losing my money without wanting to check out.I have enough on my plate at the moment and am barely hanging in by the skin of my teeth.
sandy
#84 Posted : Wednesday, 23 July 2008 12:00:00 a.m.(UTC)
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Jeannie and Murray thankyou.Not only on this site do you get support for your slips but also your achievements.I have to say I didn't do it alone I felt like I had everyone on the site holding my hand.Jeannie the last time I gambled was the 12th July I made my mind up from the 13th I would try and change.Although I'm not counting the days I'm remembering the date.Thankyou again!
sandy
#85 Posted : Wednesday, 23 July 2008 12:00:00 a.m.(UTC)
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Taysh and Hocko thankyou so much.It feels good when you haven't done it but crickey at the time not doing it is like torture.It's at least 1 day I didn't weaken.Everyone is doing so well.Taysh $20 a cask of wine for me you did the hard yards paying your bills first so I don't think it's a real slip.That would have been if you'd used the bill money as we all have done or could do.Does anyone mind opening a new thread?It's just my computer is so old when the threads get long it takes me for ever to open them.
Thanks everyone!
murray
#86 Posted : Wednesday, 23 July 2008 12:00:00 a.m.(UTC)
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Hi Sandy
Well done for not going across the road.You should give yourself a big pat on the back. Well done. I is so hard when you get the urge.It sounds like you are not well
Keep it up and Take Care
This my 3rd day away from the Pokies.Tying to keep myself busy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I am sitting at work at lunch time thinking on what I am go to do tonight and that is when to urge come into my head.
Well must go back to work and be strong about tonight.
kimy
#87 Posted : Wednesday, 23 July 2008 12:00:00 a.m.(UTC)
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Good on you for posting on here Sandy hopefully this helps you get through today. Believe us when we say we know how hard it is. Give yourself a pat on the back you are putting plans in place firstly by acknowledging that the urges are high. Secondly for posting on here. Please if you can pop back on here later and let us know how you got on. Best of luck and we are here for you. Hope the doctors went well.
kimy
#88 Posted : Wednesday, 23 July 2008 12:00:00 a.m.(UTC)
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Well done sandy see you can do it. Taysh im with you day 3 for me as well.
jeannie
#89 Posted : Wednesday, 23 July 2008 12:00:00 a.m.(UTC)
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Taysh although you had a minor trip up it has been a postive thing in that you are thinking in advance what will happen if I had spare cash, and as Hocko has said at least you are putting controls in place and when that time comes you will be able to spend your extra money on you and not line the casinos pockets so that they can recarpet the place. Each time we don't gamble it is a win for us and a loss for the casino and if we put all the money together that we have gambled to date the casino has had some very big wins. So here's to making the pokies lose!!!

I must admit that I have had a couple of moments that have caused my brain to turn in the direction of playing the pokies, and I ask myself the question is it because I didn't have any money or not. I can only answer that I hope it was not, anyway I didn't go. Like you taysh I paid what bills I could the night I got paid, and if I can live on the little that I have left for the fortnight then I can do it again next fortnight and pay more bills. So I am adapting your strategy and making it so that I have just enough money to buy groceries and petrol and whatever is left over goes to bills, if I can do that for the next few months I should be in a better position than I am now. If I keep gambling then I may as walk off the plank.

Murray you are doing well. The challenge is that much more of a challenge when you live with someone who does not help in your addiction. Although my ex husband seldom gambled, when I went to help groups or tried to get help from anyone he was OK with it for a very short while before saying why are you going to GABBA (that is a group a little like GA) you need to be home with your family, so under pressure I bent and stayed home, only to break and go back to gambling. I wished I was stronger and stood my ground, I wished that I realized that I could only change for myself and nobody else. So many wishes, that had I taken it more on board, that the only way was to do this for myself, I might have saved myself from a few too many years of being in the same plight. However that was not the case, so I guess I am saying guard jealously against anything that has the potential to weaken your resolve. Know that there is a better life if you can stay away from the pokies. Whatever satisfaction or what we percieve is our need, and turn us to gambling,it is only very temporary and like a very cheap piece of jewellery tarnishes rapidly.


Hocko keep up the good work. Stopping gambling brings its own challenges, and quite often we have to start facing our own emotions, and they come out of nowhere, because whilst we are gambling we can use our different moods for a reason to go and so often delay the need to deal with them. Feeling down, angry, moody, I guess the bottom line is that we are all very human. The prize of obtaining a life without hiding and gamble free is I am sure better than any golden chalice.

Kimy you are right on the mark a journey of a thousand miles does just start with one step. Keep going you are doing well. 1 day 2 days before you know it you will reach your teen goal.

Ciracadian through reading these posts and the groups that I have been involved with and last of all my personal experiences. There seem to be a plether of experiences, and reasons as to why we gamble, yet the main one's are never about winning money, but morea time out zone, somewhere were you don't have to think or feel for that matter, with the occasional rewards of a free drink, and if you happen to win a pat on the back from those around, *(as if you had the power to make the machine play), actually just the terminology of playing the machines it gives you the impression that if you are playing then you have some control over it, I don't know it is I think more time out, and being in a fantasy moment, that is the lure made stronger by the little rewards on the way which I am sure changes the dopamine levels in your brain, that much more changed by the environment. Just as a side line and I don't recommend it, I have played the free pokies on line and after some time got quite tired of it, initially I was getting the same hit as if I was at the casino, and then, the environment at home was not full of flashing lights, I wasn't having Oxygen pumped on my face to keep me alert, the calaidescope of music wasn't happening, so Yes I went back to the venue that supplied all those things. Some have described gambling as being similar to having an affair!!! I know that in the cold heart of day that I would never gamble, and I am sure that we would all say the same thing, but alas it is not logic driven.

circadian check your email. hope it got through.

So to everyone here another day that we can win the battle and so closer to winning the war.

Bryan-G Well done, a very good idea to get help, prior to spending the money that you where going to gamble with. You must feel so much better.

night all
jeannie
#90 Posted : Wednesday, 23 July 2008 12:00:00 a.m.(UTC)
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Sandy stay standing, picture youself and how you will feel after, remind youself as to why you are here on this forum it is not just to recieve support but also to arrest the inevitable outcome of gambling. We are with you be strong, you can do it , believe in yourself..and tell those urges to buzz off in the strongest way possible, gambling has no right to take you away from yourself Remember we are all with you.

Take extra care OK
jeannie
#91 Posted : Wednesday, 23 July 2008 12:00:00 a.m.(UTC)
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Sandy it is another step forward that you came here before you went to face the day, that shows that on one level you don;t want to cave in to those urges no matter how strong, coming here first is strength in itself bring that strength to the for front, think of something different. and take extra precautions. as you already sense danger.
jeannie
#92 Posted : Wednesday, 23 July 2008 12:00:00 a.m.(UTC)
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Sandy it may also help if you can think about someone on this forum and picture that person in your mind as though that person was with you....

You can do this
jeannie
#93 Posted : Wednesday, 23 July 2008 12:00:00 a.m.(UTC)
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Sandy well done you have got through I think you deserve a dozen stars today!!! that is really terrific. You know you weren,t alone as I was coming home from work I also had a fight on my hands this morning, I still haven't got to bed yet but hope to do so within the next couple of hours and then have a couple of hours sleep before the real estate agent comes around with prospective buyers. So I have been busy making the place shipshape, well as much as I can. Sandy just keep hanging on, maybe start forgiving yourself today re your last blowout, maybe draw a line in the sand as it were and go from todays strength to tomorrows acheivement. Again a huge congratulations. Good on you
jeannie
#94 Posted : Wednesday, 23 July 2008 12:00:00 a.m.(UTC)
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Sandy you probably won't believe this but I am afraid to tell you that not only will you remember the date I won't forget it either as the 12th July is my birthday. So unless I get a bad case of dementia I am destined to remember that date for my whole existence on this earth so if you happen to ever forget yourself just ask me when my birthday is and if by some long stretch of the imagination, I do forget then tell me to ask my older brother as his birthday is the same day as mine.
So you see even if you don't want to remember, I am sorry you have noooo choice. Have a better day Sandy, and again fantastic achievement.
hocko
#95 Posted : Wednesday, 23 July 2008 12:00:00 a.m.(UTC)
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Hi Sandy,
Put those stops in place to prevent your gambling. Only take the amount of money you need to pay the doctor and leave the rest at home. And if that doesn't help, think of how you will feel after you have gambled - that works with me. Be strong and look after yourself.
hocko
#96 Posted : Wednesday, 23 July 2008 12:00:00 a.m.(UTC)
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Hi Sandy,
Well done. We are all so proud of you and what an achievement. It does feel good, doesn't it!! You know that now you've done it once, you can do it again, and next time you get an urge, remember how good you felt resisting the urge today. Keep it up.
Jeannie, you deserve a pat on the back as well, as you've been fighting urges and resisting them. Keep gamble free.
hocko
#97 Posted : Wednesday, 23 July 2008 12:00:00 a.m.(UTC)
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Hi Sandy,

I'm happy if you want to open another thread.
jeannie
#98 Posted : Thursday, 4 June 2009 11:15:00 a.m.(UTC)
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Taysh a very good idea.
Kimy today is a new day so look up and look forward to getting your stars today. Actually the only way to see the stars is too look up, as if we look down we only see the ground. We are all with you and know only too well where you are at the moment.
Take care everyone







k
kimy
#99 Posted : Thursday, 4 June 2009 11:15:00 a.m.(UTC)
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Jeannie i am taking your advice i am going to the $2 shop today to get some.There is only one way up and i want to be there, thank you so so much for your feed back i dont know if you realise but your posting along with others is what is making me realise that i can and i will do this ,so once again a big thank you
taysh
#100 Posted : Thursday, 4 June 2009 11:15:00 a.m.(UTC)
taysh

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Hi everyone. Wow some good posting on the weekend. I thought I had checked on Saturday but found only one-two posts. I don't know what was wrong with my computer, either I didn't look properly or something went wrong. Anyway, sorry for not responding when some of you were going through some tough times.

Kimy and Sandy. I'm sorry to hear about your slips. I am however glad that you posted here about it. It means something when you admit to it. It is so easy just not to post that you had a slip, push it under the carpet so to speak. I think this forum works but only if you are honest on it. So well done for that.

I am glad you are heading off to get some stars Kimy. For me it isn't only a way of counting days. It's also a little reward each night for getting through a day. Putting a shiny little star on a day is a moment where I sit and tell myself well done. I look back at a line of stars and go wow, good going. I guess it's just a reminder to me to pat myself on the back for making it through another day. I found when I was just counting days that's all I did. I would look at the day and say, "hmm I was five days on Thursday so today I must be 9 days". It basically meant it was just a number and only when I told someone that number did I take the opportunity to say 'well done' to myself. Stars make me do it once each day and remind me how far I have come when I have lines filled with different coloured stars/stickers.

Sandy. Yes I live paycheck to paycheck but only because I kept slipping. During that period of not gambling I found I had money for all my bills and extra for socialising. I couldn't save much because I have to give money to my bankruptcy, but it was enough that when a social engagement came up I could afford to go without "getting creative with my finances". At the moment I am still firmly in the grip of payday to payday. That's just because of my recent splurge of gambling. It will take me a couple of months to get back on my feet.

Circadian and Hocko you should be proud of yourself for getting through the weekend with such urges. Circadian, I hope you dinner with friends was great. It's nice to be able to do things without having guilt feelings weighing you down.

Jeannie you sound like you are doing well. You have such a positive attitude. Keep going strong.

Me I had an OK weekend. Thanks to having no money I had minimal urges. I was surprised that I still had some urges even though I had no means to gamble. This is my 10th day today without gambling. It's payday this Thursday so that will be the tester. I am beginning to plan for it already knowing that Saturdays are my worst days for urges. I plan on grocery shopping on Thursday after work instead of Saturdays. I will pay all my bills that morning via internet banking. I am going to take out my fortnights worth of spending money and take it home. Once home I will take all cards and money out of my wallet, leaving only $10 in my wallet for things that might come up. I know that day will be a difficult one for my urge wise.

Have a good day everyone.
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