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Mortal
#61 Posted : Monday, 19 June 2017 10:24:07 a.m.(UTC)
Mortal

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Hi All -today is Day 54 and no pokies.

Thanks Spike for the message. Strangely enough I had my first Pokie thoughts in absolutely ages - as I traveled through a place where I had played in the past. The thoughts lasted for about 5 minutes, but I did not go. The dialogue in my head was "no one would know ....you never know, you might win some money"

Absolute crap - just old voices resurfacing. Probably because the last few weeks have been quite stressful with some family events.

Spike - Im not sure whether it is just a "need to win" that is motivating you.

The machines are designed to activate the pleasure centers and the reward centers in the brain. The lights, music, graphics are designed to get you hooked so that you keep going, even when (like you say) you spend much more than you could ever possibly win. It is all designed to make us hooked. Its not you - its the machines.

The REAL issues starts when we think about pokies. It can start like a quiet whisper then it slowly gets louder and louder. The initial whisper ignites the pleasure center so the thrill and addiction begins when the brain starts thinking about it.

Because the brain is activated, then you start committing to going by setting a date or a time. Once you set a time or a date to go, then you are already screwed.

I have found that my best way to avoid going is to stop myself from thinking about Pokies unless I am on this site. It is pure mind poison .... I wish I had never been introduced to Pokies - so much time and money could have been saved.

Anyway - you are doing well, and I am doing well and I have NO intention of going back there again. I estimate I have saved a good 6-7k by now.

My next goal is 60 days.

6 days to go.....

Speak soon.
Mortal
#62 Posted : Wednesday, 21 June 2017 2:33:41 a.m.(UTC)
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Hi All

Today is Day 56 - 8 weeks today of NO POKIES!

Feeling great and feeling quite chuffed with myself. I've only had small vague temptations - nothing prolonged despite being in some very stressful situations over the last 8 weeks.

My next immediate Goal is 60 days (which will be on Saturday).

Bye for now.



gambling_helpline
#63 Posted : Wednesday, 21 June 2017 5:28:09 a.m.(UTC)
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Eight weeks pokie free! That is fantastic! Mortal you are a legend and an inspiration. Remember if you ever need to talk we are a phone call away. 0800 654 655.
spike
#64 Posted : Wednesday, 21 June 2017 6:04:40 a.m.(UTC)
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Way to go Mortal!!! Keep it up!
Mortal
#65 Posted : Tuesday, 27 June 2017 6:07:26 a.m.(UTC)
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Hi All - Sorry for my silence...but tomorrow (TUESDAY 27th June) will be 9 weeks of me being completely pokie free - 2 clear months of NO pokies.

Feeling great and feeling very strong.

I am committed to staying Pokie Free - and would love to hear from anyone else that wants to do this with me.

I estimate that I would have saved about $6k or $7k by now

I am going to celebrate tomorrow - as this for me is a massive achievement. I never thought I could get so far along.

However it i early days still - my goal is to get to 10 weeks Pokie Free.

Will write more soon.

Thanks Spike and Helpline for the good words... Hope all is well Spike!
spike
#66 Posted : Tuesday, 27 June 2017 8:21:51 a.m.(UTC)
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I'm 24 days in.

My family is home now so I'm extra busy and need to stay on top of things. Haven't really been tempted since that last post I had over a week ago.

Still just angry. I don't really know how to get over it.

Congrats on the 9 weeks.

Spike
gambling_helpline
#67 Posted : Tuesday, 27 June 2017 8:35:56 a.m.(UTC)
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Kia ora Spike.

24 days that is awesome going Spike. Sounds like you are doing very well in your effort to stop gambling. It seems you are experiencing some challenging times in your life. If you want to talk about it. You are always welcome to call or text 8006 the Gambling Helpline for support.

The Gambling Helpline Team.
Mortal
#68 Posted : Tuesday, 27 June 2017 10:15:54 a.m.(UTC)
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Hi Spike.

Well done mate - 24 days!! That is brilliant.

I completely understand the anger - I had the same feelings...I still do sometimes.

It starts to fade - right now I am just releived to not be dealing with the loss of money and the anxiety that it used to bring.

We should just accept that it was a phase - and do everything in our power never to go back there again. It's a joke and honestly should be banned....nothing good comes from it at all.

Keep going mate. You're an inspiration. Im glad your family is back....things will get better ever day.
Mortal
#69 Posted : Wednesday, 28 June 2017 3:47:16 a.m.(UTC)
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Today is Nine Weeks / 63 days since I last gambled.

Feeling great and super strong despite some very heavy family issues going on.

I have no intention of going back again.

The next goal is 70 days (10 weeks) free of gambling.

Speak soon!
spike
#70 Posted : Friday, 30 June 2017 8:26:15 a.m.(UTC)
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28 days today.

Still feeling the financial strain even though it's been nearly a month.

The ironic thing is that if I could get back all the money I gambled in the last 12 months it would go a long way to sorting out a lot of my financial issues.

My ability to find money to gamble was incredible as I never really could afford it but still would have wasted $13-20k.

If only I could apply that same sole minded determination for good (like repayment of debt etc).

I guess I just have to keep faith that if I can stay gamble free it will make a difference in 12 months time and things will get easier.

Mortal I'm looking forward to your 100 days it's coming up soon and will be a great achievement.

For anyone else reading- feel free to join in. We can do this and it's easier together.

Spike.
Mortal
#71 Posted : Monday, 3 July 2017 3:54:07 a.m.(UTC)
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Hi All

Today is Day 68 and still no Pokies.

I feel like I am mastering walking past a Pokies and saying "no - not interested".

Thoughts of the fun feeling of walking in do come back to me sometimes, but I know that the fun part is the thought of walking in. The pain and anxiety normally starts to hit when you are inside and losing.
The worst pain is when you leave or the following morning, when you realize just how much you have spent.

So, NO - i do not miss that post-mortem, next day, sick feeling.

SPIKE - mate ...you are doing Brilliantly. So just focus on staying clear of pokies - and things will slowly start to piece themselves together financially.

It takes time, but you are right - its amazing how quickly we can find money when it comes to blowing it on pokies, without ever thinking of the real damage that we are doing or the longer term implications.

We are simply un-stitching some of those poor decisions that we made...but it does get easier. However - a few shitty decisions do not define who we are....we are stronger than some scabby computers.

Keep going mate - I am proudly cheering you on!

My next milestone is on Tuesday - which will be 10 clear weeks - 70 days.

Speak soon.
Mortal
#72 Posted : Wednesday, 5 July 2017 12:34:41 a.m.(UTC)
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DAY 70
Today is 10 weeks exactly since I last gambled. 70 days clear of pokies is a great feeling.


However it still feels like early days, as I STILL occasionally get romantic notions of the excitement of going and of possibly winning - which in reality I know is pure CRAP.

I guess the Pokies became a secret place of escape and refuge - so breaking that relationship isn't always easy.

I equate it to a toxic friend that was never really your friend, that also kept screwing you out of money, and made you constantly feeling anxious.
I never had a friend like that until Pokies.

So for today - I am 70 days (10 weeks) clean....and my next big goal is 11 weeks.

I can rejoice in the fact that I have easily saved myself from wasting between 5k - 8k during that time.

Speak soon!




spike
#73 Posted : Wednesday, 5 July 2017 8:49:07 a.m.(UTC)
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Congrats Mortal on another great milestone. I'm nearly half way there (day 33).

Only been tempted once but I only really had the opportunity once. It's easier to not gamble when you can't afford it. The real test will be if I find myself in a position with access to money and time/opportunity. These are the times I have failed badly on the past.

In saying that, I have had weird dreams about gambling (and winning). That desperation and desire fo a win bubbles away just under the surface.

Just got to keep going, keep moving forward and keep blocking out that little voice that says it's worth a go.

Spike.
Mortal
#74 Posted : Friday, 7 July 2017 4:09:33 a.m.(UTC)
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Day 72 today - and still feeling strong.

Came across a great article that reminded me why I quit: http://www.stuff.co.nz/l...g-The-reality-of-pokies

Spike - you are doing brilliantly, and you can keep going even when you have money and time. I NEVER thought I could stop....but my resolve is getting stronger. I try to instantly change my thoughts when the temptation of Pokies comes to mind. It is NOT worth it - if you have ever had feelings of shame, regret, screaming to yourself in your car, pure anxiety (like I have) - then trust me - that is your body's way of telling you that you DONT need it.

Keep going everyone!

Speak soon.
spike
#75 Posted : Saturday, 8 July 2017 10:03:21 a.m.(UTC)
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I'm half way there mortal- day 36.

As I have previously said going through a pretty difficult time at the moment. My gambling has left me in a fragile financial position and if I wasn't in this mess, I would be in a much better position to handle these other issues in my life and be a greater help to my family.

This just adds to the frustration and anger I am already feeling.

Just gotta keep chugging along.

Spike
Mortal
#76 Posted : Tuesday, 11 July 2017 1:22:02 p.m.(UTC)
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11 WEEKS TODAY - DAY 77.

Still Pokie free - but interestingly had my greatest urges this week.

Had an insatiable craving to go and play this weekend, but bumped into someone I knew which diverted my attention and changed my focus. I was by myself, feeling a little bored and was in very close proximity to a place I used to play.

For a moment the excitement and adrenelin pumped through my body - but THANK GOD i didn't go. I'm just suprised that I could still get that feeling...after all of the analysis that I have done.

I think boredom is a reason why I used to play pokies - my brain has been so hardwired to view pokies as an escape from being bored - especially at the weekend.

BUT - i made it to week 11 (Day 77) and I am still Pokie Free.

My next goal is 80 days - then 12 weeks (84 days).

Spike - you are doing brilliantly - I should image that you are now approaching 40 days. Keep going mate - no massive self bashing about money spent - just get to 50 days.

I am sending you masses of encouragement.

Speak soon.
spike
#77 Posted : Friday, 14 July 2017 7:15:57 a.m.(UTC)
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Hey mortal,

Congrats on 11 weeks.

Today is 6 weeks for me!

Keep going strong

Spike
Mortal
#78 Posted : Saturday, 15 July 2017 8:56:28 a.m.(UTC)
Mortal

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Day 80 - still no pokies!

Another small milestone reached: my next goal is 12 weeks (84 days).

Feeling strong and nod esire to gamble.

Thanks Spike for the encouragement. 6 weeks is phenomenal....keep going mate. I believe we can do this!

gambling_helpline
#79 Posted : Sunday, 16 July 2017 8:14:01 a.m.(UTC)
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Hi Mortal,
First of all, well done on getting this far!I like how you acknowledged it as being a small milestone; many people underestimate the importance of small milestones. They are especially crucial in helping us to build our confidence and motivation for our long term goal. What do you think has helped you to get this far?


take care and go well,
The Gambling Helpline Team
spike
#80 Posted : Sunday, 16 July 2017 11:09:50 p.m.(UTC)
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Must be about day 45 for me.

Really tempted to gamble today... been pretty stressed about money. Got an unplanned $370 dentist bill and $600 bill from the plumbers. Car needs work to get a warrant... and my first instinct is to throw my money away!!!!!

What a joke. If it weren't for my gambling I would be able to handle these unexpected costs but as I am completely tapped out with debt and debt repayment- it doesn't take much to come along and knock me over.

I have worked really hard career wise and I am on a decent income but I don't get to enjoy any of the benefits of my hard work and sacrifices- as I fed all my money to the machines.

Needless to say but I'm feeling pretty frustrated and angry about the whole thing.

Spike
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