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john
#1 Posted : Tuesday, 21 July 2009 1:48:00 p.m.(UTC)
john

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Had a good weekend. Good weather and lots to do. keeping busy and then i dont think about gambling. Achieving lots, and keeping very positive .Mondays are usually my worst day, no urges ,and feeling very good three weeks since the last time i gambled.
Everyone else sounds good and positive too. Sandy hope you are feeling strong we are here for the good and bad times like you are.
A busy mind is a happy mind seems to work for me and seem to become motivated in all directions . so far so good

john
hocko
#2 Posted : Thursday, 23 July 2009 12:51:00 a.m.(UTC)
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Hi everyone,
John, it was so good to hear your side of the story and I understand about the desperation you spoke about. I haven't posted for a few days, mainly because I've been feeling sorry for myself because I can't find work, but I've decided that if I can't find a job in the next month I'm going to do voluntary work. I miss the interaction with people as I'm at home so much and feel it would help myself and others to volunteer. I have been keeping busy trying to sand and putty casement windows, but I find that two hours of sanding is enough each day as otherwise my body hurts too much. Hopefully the end result will be worth the effort. I am still not gambling and I realise that if I was, it probably would have filled the void I now feel by doing this, but ending up feeling a lot worse. Self banning myself has been the best thing I ever did. Before I did this I felt I should have had the strength of character to just stop, but found it was nothing about strength of character but an all consuming addiction that needed to be stopped. I hope everyone else is doing well, as it is quiet here and I hope this is a good thing. Take care.
GH Admin
#3 Posted : Thursday, 23 July 2009 8:24:00 a.m.(UTC)
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Hi John,

Things seem a bit quiet here at the moment. Well done for being gamble free for three weeks. Keeping busy and knowing when you will be triggered seems to have worked very well for you. For some people who stop gambling it can be very difficult to find something to fill their time with. Do you mind if I ask what are some things/activities that you are doing to fill in your time and how did you come about finding these activities?

GH Admin
john
#4 Posted : Thursday, 23 July 2009 8:31:00 a.m.(UTC)
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Hi to all.All very quite on this site at present.No one posting much so hope that means all doing well.
Watched on tv last night about p addiction so sad at one clinic they were talking about it and got me to thinking there are similarities in all addictions .
After giving up for four years ,the second time of giving up is so different
The first time for me i couldnt go a day without playing pokies ,and on public holidays the desperation of trying to find a place that was open.
When giving up, marking on a calender and remember thinking after day three how wonderful it was to go so long without touching a machine and the desperation in fighting it but i won the battle for four years. untill i thought i could stop and start when i wanted.
This time the desperation isnt there. I know to much and if i failed it is weakness
not desperation i know the consequences if i give in .
This time when gambling it was not as frequent sometimes once a week or two but max bets making the excuse had to go hard cause didnt do it as often.
Feel in control and happy at present .
To me to play is like being like a spoilt little kid trying to get their own way
and i know too much to let it control me.
The best words said to me were if you want to gamble walk away from all you have and throw your keys away and go for it cause you will end up with nothing .How true those words.
It would be nice to hear how you are all getting on?


john
kimy
#5 Posted : Thursday, 23 July 2009 1:04:00 p.m.(UTC)
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Hi Hocko and John, I have not posted for a while as i have had my family sick with the flu (yay) not.. Im not feeling to flash today and am praying that now they are all fine i aint comming down with it. You guys are doing so so well and hocko i agree with you if i had not have self banned i dont think i would have made it this far. I have tried so many time to give up gambling through sheer will power and only ever lasted about 6 weeks max then give in to the beast. Self banning seems to have made it so final i cannot go even if i want to. I have had urges and quite big ones but over the last week they seemed to have slowed right down. My finances are still very much in turmoiland they will be for quite sometime. I dont reallt think that i realised to what extent that gambling had really taken over my life until i quit !!! You no it has been 2 months and im still paying dearly for it wich scares me. I feel so so great and to anyone who is reading this please if you have tried and tried to give up and keep slipping self bann!!! take care and ill post again soon. Sandy how are you doing? Julia? Noi?
john
#6 Posted : Thursday, 23 July 2009 1:19:00 p.m.(UTC)
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Quote:Originally Posted by <strong>GH Admin</strong><br />Hi John,

Things seem a bit quiet here at the moment. Well done for being gamble free for three weeks. Keeping busy and knowing when you will be triggered seems to have worked very well for you. For some people who stop gambling it can be very difficult to find something to fill their time with. Do you mind if I ask what are some things/activities that you are doing to fill in your time and how did you come about finding these activities?

GH Admin


hi admin,
things that keep you busy . When you are gambling your whole focus is on this and you just go through the motions of doing things to get by. but by focusing on the things that you do and giving your all to them it takes more time and then you get pleasure from them then your energy levels etc go up.
The big thing for me that tells me all is well, is when you look at the simple things in life like a lovely view and see the beauty in it .
This might sound odd but i am sure most who have been in recovery will know this point andit is a wonderful space to be in.
Also i walk 5 ks everday mainly hill this is my time (another addiction but a positive one )i go everyday no matter what the weather even if i start off not good by the time i get home i feel really good and is good for my body.
Reading is another and taking the time to really listen and enjoy others.
Learning to use the computer better takes time too.
Ithink it is throwing yourself into anything you do and just making an effort to get involved that works for me. hope this may help.
Hocko keep your spirit up it will turn around

john
julia
#7 Posted : Thursday, 23 July 2009 6:10:00 p.m.(UTC)
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Hi Guys, Good on you all for being so good.
I have been as broke as a badger so even if i could of gambled it would of been impossible.
Funny how i always managed to find the money before.
Anyway got to push it at work so bettwer keep on it.
All the best everyone..
kimy
#8 Posted : Thursday, 23 July 2009 7:39:00 p.m.(UTC)
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Julia, i can relate so much to what you are saying.Since i have quit i can hardly make ends meet i have no idea how i found the money to gamble im so broke
hocko
#9 Posted : Thursday, 23 July 2009 11:52:00 p.m.(UTC)
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Same with me. Wish I still had all that money I wasted. How are you Sandy? You've been quiet.
sandy
#10 Posted : Friday, 24 July 2009 12:44:00 a.m.(UTC)
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Hi Team
sorry with school holidays and children being sick I have not been able to post.I am off to the specialist today so don't know how I'll go.One infection cleared up then I got another further down the wound which is also bleeding lets hope he can sort it.
I too am part of the broke club and I guess like all of us wonder where on earth I kept getting the money.Actually that's not entirely true sold my jewellry ,borrowed money from friends I never repaid well not all of them anyway,took out loans yes even forged my husbands signature.God thinking about it now what a dreadful cycle I was in.Don't see it at the time do we?But boy when we stop wham lifes reality check.
You are all doing so well I'm still in awe of you all for self-banning I couldn't do it.
Check in later and let you know how my visit goes.
john
#11 Posted : Friday, 24 July 2009 9:34:00 a.m.(UTC)
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good to hear from all.
We all seem to be broke but if we had still been gambling im sure we would all get money somehow. i just used all the money i could get hold of and ignored paying everthing but getting there. So its all caught up now the bills i mean.But will come out the other side. I used to buy things before pokies to make myself happy (another addiction) but have learnt i dont need much and thats something good gambling has taught me.
I used to look at homeless street people and think im on my way there. but am lucky . This addiction has taught me not to judge and have compassion.
Sandy you are a worry hope all is well and post soon please so we know you are ok. Its a worry when we stop hearing from people

john
hocko
#12 Posted : Friday, 24 July 2009 6:46:00 p.m.(UTC)
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Hi guys,
Sandy, wonderful to hear from you again and know that you are OK. That infection sounds nasty so I hope the doc can sort it out for you. Like all of us I'm keeping busy and out of trouble and how great it feels to say that. Take care all.
julia
#13 Posted : Sunday, 26 July 2009 1:16:00 p.m.(UTC)
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Hi Guys, Yep the keeping busy helps to some degree.
So does the no money thing.
Boy oh boy i have to cringe when i think of what i threw at those machines.
Could of retired years ago lol.
Keep it up guys.
Be strong xx
john
#14 Posted : Sunday, 26 July 2009 1:32:00 p.m.(UTC)
john

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hi all good to hear all going well at present.
I am good no urges at present or down feelings. So much to do and not enough hours in the day. Doing all the the things i should have been doing while gambling .Business is good at present seems to be the reward for applying yourself to it instead of pokies. Sandy good to hear from you Have been through the infection through op thing Had it for a long time The antibiotics are awful no enough to make anyone depressed hope it gets better. Have a good weekend all stay positive in thought

john
sandy
#15 Posted : Sunday, 26 July 2009 3:58:00 p.m.(UTC)
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Hi my friends.Well after feeling sorry for myself mainly because of my infection and my daughter now disowning me.I decided today stuff the infection I'm going to get stuck into my garden adopting the "keep busy"philosophy I feel a lot better having done it although a little sore.The specialist stuck a couple of needles in to see how deep the infection was.It's coming from some undisolved internal stitches so it's just time.
Really gutted about my daughter the problem is my husband has been telling her a lot of things that aren't true.Yes some of what he said I have acknowledged as being true but have certainly paid the price and it didn't effect her.My husband was never around well my children were growin up and there was nothing I wouldn't do for them.It is very sad because boy if they knew the truth about their father I wonder what they'd think.Affairs,beatings,abuse and constant trips away it was me that had to do everything.I will not however disclose any of this to my children as I don't believe in bad mouthing their father to them.
Well enough winching I'm oing to have a beer.Funny but since I've been posting I've been getting urges boy am I one sick individual.
hocko
#16 Posted : Tuesday, 28 July 2009 12:21:00 a.m.(UTC)
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Hi all,
I also had a good weekend, achieved a lot and feel good as well. Sandy, I agree with John. Your daughter will work it out for herself and really, your ex shouldn't be poisoning her mind against you. He obviously has some unresolved issues regarding your marriage. Look after yourself and things will come good. You are probably having urges because of the stress you are under and that is understandable. Keep strong and you'll get through it. How is everyone else? I hope you all had a good weekend as well.
john
#17 Posted : Tuesday, 28 July 2009 11:30:00 a.m.(UTC)
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Hi to all .good weekend and no urges today Mon usually being my worst day.
Got lots done at home. Makes you feel good when you achieve.
Sandy I believe that your daughter will figure it out one day for herself I have seen this happen before . Worry about you , Then you will deal with everthing else.The urges will come back at times i got them back after four years but please be strong stay away, its the usual when you feel down you want to escape to the machines to self destruct. keep busy and take care. hope everone else had a gamble free weekend

john
john
#18 Posted : Wednesday, 29 July 2009 12:08:00 a.m.(UTC)
john

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hi all just a post to say had an urge this morning and thought of the people on this site ,and it went. leaving me feeling good thanks to you all for your words and support

john
julia
#19 Posted : Wednesday, 29 July 2009 4:36:00 p.m.(UTC)
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Hi Everyone, Sandy i am so sorry your daughter is giving you grief.
Not what you need at the moment especially when you are so kind to everyone.
She will figure it out one day although i would be tempted to tell her exactly what her father was like.
It is a hard one but like everyone else has said..she will get it one day.
Be strong everyone and have a great week.
kimy
#20 Posted : Thursday, 30 July 2009 7:22:00 a.m.(UTC)
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Hi friends great to read everyone is still gamble free!! what an addiction aye?My urges do not seem to be nearly as bad to what they first were when i gave upo thank goodness.Sandy im sure karma will kick in when its good and ready so sit back and enjoy it when it happens. Take care everyone.
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