Rank: Newbie
Groups: Registered
Joined: 19/04/2020(UTC)
Posts: 2
Location: Auckland
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My partner and I have been together for 6 years we have 5 children together.
Gambling runs in his family pokies, horses and cards.
I knew he liked to play but then 1 year ago I checked accounts for savings and seen money was spent about 2k.
He got help through gambling support and then last week I went through the budge again as we just brought a house and i saw $1600 was spent he admitted it was pokies.
His reasons were he was going through a bad time, I should let him play then he wouldn't hide, he supports and provides for us and it's the one thing he enjoys and I'm taking it away.
He does support me in whatever I want to do, he said that he wouldn't hide it if I let him play and he would he fine and okay to not spend too much.
He said he would stop playing for me again but is refusing to get help as he reiterated he chose to play because of our fight last time so he doesn't need help.
To stay or leave?
I have no idea about addiction and i have google searched but I'm not sure what else to do. As i am forcing him to stop he hasn't chose too.
Please help
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Rank: Newbie
Groups: Registered
Joined: 19/04/2020(UTC)
Posts: 2
Location: Auckland
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Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Administrators
Joined: 24/11/2015(UTC)
Posts: 70
Location: Kuala Lumpur
Thanks: 3 times
Was thanked: 3 time(s) in 3 post(s)
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Hi Safe123,
Sorry to hear of your situation. Since your husband is not willing to get help at this point, I would recommend reaching out for some support for yourself to help you cope with this situation.
Give us a call here at the Gambling Helpline anytime to have a chat with you about your situation.
Kind Regards,
The Gambling Helpline.
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Rank: Newbie
Groups: Registered
Joined: 29/04/2020(UTC)
Posts: 1
Location: porirua
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maybe trial a spending budget ? then re-evaluate weekly / monthly.......only you can make the call to leave but i would try all options before making a big decision like that hope it all works out for you
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Rank: Newbie
Groups: Registered
Joined: 12/05/2020(UTC)
Posts: 1
Location: Helsinki
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i'm also a gambler. and personally i find his reasoning especially on that last part childish. just because of your last fight? but then, this is not the whole story, so i don't have idea how big that fight was anyway.
so to leave or to stay?
1/ firstly, you have to consider how long you been together and the children (especially if there are kids)
2/ the good side, is he continues to support you and kids.
3/ do you both work or just him? that's another one to consider in case you have to opt for leaving.
4/ in our house, me and my wife have been open too. i think it was a huge factor that i let her budget because i know in myself that i cannot control if it's all in me. letting her hold of our savings, included giving a significant amount for my gambling.
5/ she also has this budget thing that we discuss prior of the incoming month. i know it sounds very formal, but that's what i appreciated. we agreed on a reasonable gambling amount for me.
hope you'll get a takeaway from this. in short, try if there are things you both can talk and implement first. if that doesn't work or gets out of control, seek gambling helpline.
good luck.
p.s. nowadays i gamble online whereas before i travel which added more to my gambling expenses.
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