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xstarx
#1 Posted : Thursday, 1 March 2012 2:34:00 a.m.(UTC)
xstarx

Rank: Newbie

Groups: Registered
Joined: 1/03/2012(UTC)
Posts: 2

It seems like this gambling problem my Mum has will Never go away. Its been like 7 years or so now and i really dont know what to do. She's so stubborn and strong willed that she refuses any help like this website offers or a therapist. Sometimes i just want to yell at her if she's so above getting help why hasnt she sorted this s*** out. But any time i bring up gambling she says how my own illness (eating disorder) has destroyed the family and i just shut down. Im over lending money, i feel like im fueling the problem but what else am i supposed to do?? If i didnt shed get angry and i cant stand people being angry at me.

Im also REALLY worried too because her and my Dad have just inherited a large amount of money, i have absolutely no trust she wont gamble it away. I hope she doesnt but i dont know, can gamblers use self control when they can see how much stuff they could do with their lives with the money apart from gambling?? Part of me just wants to give up and stop caring... let her deal with it if she blows it... but part of me really wants her and Dad to be able to use the money for good like retirement and a holiday etc... ARGH i just dont know anymore... Sorry this is so long
dan
#2 Posted : Friday, 2 March 2012 10:11:00 p.m.(UTC)
dan

Rank: Member

Groups: Registered
Joined: 9/09/2010(UTC)
Posts: 10

Hi xstarx,

From what you have written it seems like you have legitimate reasons to be concerned.
A couple of suggestions;
Sit down and talk with your Dad, tell him how concerned you are about your mums gambling. Maybe he can convince her that she needs help/counselling.
Don't give/lend your mum money because she most likely will just gamble it away. This is called 'enabling' and will hurt her more than help her.

Stay strong
Dan
xstarx
#3 Posted : Thursday, 8 March 2012 7:19:00 p.m.(UTC)
xstarx

Rank: Newbie

Groups: Registered
Joined: 1/03/2012(UTC)
Posts: 2

Thanks heaps Dan, i might send her the link to this website, she just said before to Dad that she's going to stop... she didnt actually say stop gambling because she Never mentions gambling but she may as well have... even when she's going to go play she will say she's going for a beer or to the pub.. never to gamble... I dont really believe her when she says shel stop, i mean i dont think she's lying but i dont think she could even if she wanted to.
I will try to not lend money next time she asks... its just soooo hard not to because then she says stuff like i pay for your groceries etc etc and how can i not lend money then... plus it doesnt help that she says its because she's had lots of bills to pay and there's no money because of that. Argh i wish this was easy, it would be soo much easier if Dad wasnt super weak and stood up to her about this, he will even go to the "pub" with her when she's going to gamble because its easier then arguing about it. Shes too proud to go see anyone about it which just makes me more annoyed because aparently im not above seeing anyone about my issues... i want to say something like "you should be leading by example, why should i get help if your above it" Sorry im ranting its just i have noo one else to talk about this too
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